The Constitution of the Men GC
Established in the sacred group chat â ratified by the boys
We, the members of this hallowed group chat, in order to form a more perfect brotherhood,
ensure the free exchange of memes, establish justice for bad takes, and secure the blessings
of unread notifications to ourselves and our future selves, do ordain this Constitution.
Article I â Freedom of the Bit
All members shall have the inalienable right to send memes, voice notes, and unhinged 3am messages without judgment. No message shall be screenshot and shared outside the chat without unanimous consent of the council.
Article II â The Law of the Read Receipt
Any member who reads a message and does not respond for more than 24 hours shall be subject to public trial by reaction emoji. Repeat offenders shall be demoted from the chat and re-added with a new, embarrassing nickname.
Article III â On Ratio'd Takes
If a member sends a hot take and receives five or more skull emojis within the hour, that take is officially ratio'd and the sender must acknowledge the L in writing. Silence constitutes admission.
Article IV â The Sacred Game Invite
When a member sends a game invite or issues a call to hang, all available members are obligated to respond â even if the response is "can't, in class" or "nah." Ghosting a game invite is a federal offense.
Article V â On Snitching
What happens in the chat stays in the chat. Any member found to have leaked sensitive conversations, embarrassing voice notes, or unhinged confessions to outside parties shall be exiled, muted, and assigned a new contact name across all member devices.
Article VI â The Mute Clause
Any member who mutes the group chat forfeits the right to complain about not knowing things. Ignorance due to muting is not a valid defense. The chat is always on. You knew this.
Article VII â Amendments & Grievances
New laws may be proposed by any member via a pinned message. Ratification requires a majority of reacts. Proposed amendments sent as voice notes shall be automatically dismissed on procedural grounds.
Amendment I: The right to send a meme at any hour of the night shall not be infringed. Even the 4am ones. Especially the 4am ones.
Amendment II: Every member shall have the right to a fair nickname, defined as one that is funny but not genuinely upsetting. Nicknames given at founding are permanent and may not be appealed.
Amendment III: No member shall be compelled to attend an event they clearly don't want to attend by means of excessive group pressure. One honest "nah" is sufficient. However, they may be clowned on for missing out.
â the boys
The Founding Members
ðŠĶ (RIP)
The Guy Who Left